


How Can I Leave?

by Sara68650



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:34:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25245460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sara68650/pseuds/Sara68650
Summary: Yoohyeon was born with a unique ability. With just a touch, she could see the strongest memory attached to an item. She used to think It was a blessing, but it turned into a curse when she lost the one person she cares about most in a car accident on their anniversary.Now every time she touches something that holds a memory of Minji, she relives it. This isn’t just seeing the memory in her mind. Yoohyeon can actually feel every touch and truly relive the memory. And in a house that has six years of full memories, it is making it hard for Yoohyeon to be able to move on.She can even relive Minji’s accident if she isn’t careful of what she touches. And that is what her friends worry about. They have seen her struggling but don’t know how to help.Yoohyeon’s friends worry that she is only torturing herself by staying in the house. They fear that she is clinging to memories and can’t move on. But how can Yoohyeon leave when all of their memories are there? How can she go without feeling like she is abandoning Minji? With all of their memories in the house it feels like Minji is still in the house with her. How can she leave?
Relationships: Kim Minji | JiU/Kim Yoohyeon
Kudos: 46





	How Can I Leave?

Yoohyeon woke up feeling horrible. Her eyes were still swollen and red. Her throat was also hoarse from crying. But no matter how bad she felt now, she knew that this day would only get worse.

Yesterday was supposed to be the best day of her life, but instead, it became a day that would haunt her forever. Yesterday was the day she lost Minji.

Now all Yoohyeon felt was pain and emptiness while lying in bed. She felt like she lost a part of herself that she would never ever be able to get back.

Yoohyeon looked at the empty spot beside her and felt the sobs returning. She ran her hand over the spot that Minji’s body should be and felt the cold sheets as tears welled up in her eyes. Yoohyeon knew that she shouldn’t do what she was about to do. She knew that she would only be torturing herself, but she still had to do it. Slowly Yoohyeon reached her hand out and gently brushed her fingertips over Minji’s cold pillow as her vision changed.

-Yoohyeon’s Memory-

_Yoohyeon opened her eyes sleepily as she looked around the room and finally met Minji’s eyes. Minji was smiling at her happily as she gently stroked her cheek. Her warm fingers left a warmth behind where they touched, and Yoohyeon couldn’t help but smile a sleepy but sweet smile back._

_“Morning, baby. Did you sleep well?” Minji asked in her sleepy voice that Yoohyeon loved so much. It was deeper and smooth and always made Yoohyeon’s heart skip a beat when she heard it._

_Yoohyeon nodded as Minji slowly pulled her into her arms. This was Yoohyeon’s favorite place. She always felt warm and protected in Minji’s arms._

_As Yoohyeon felt the warmth from her girlfriend, she snuggled into Minji’s neck with a happy sigh as she enjoyed Minji’s warmth. For a minute or two, they stayed like that before Minji peeked at Yoohyeon and laughed._

_She could tell that Yoohyeon was falling back asleep and roused her awake gently. Yoohyeon protested with a pout, but Minji silenced her as she kissed the younger girl lovingly. It was a slow and gentle kiss, and they were in no rush to end it._

The memory faded away slowly, yet Yoohyeon felt the warmth of Minji’s lips on hers as it slowly faded.

This was what Yoohyeon thought of as a gift or a blessing, but now it became a curse. Just with a touch, Yoohyeon could relive the strongest memory of an item.

It wasn’t just seeing the memory in her head. She truly relived it. Yoohyeon could feel every touch and even smell and taste everything as well. For Yoohyeon, she had just felt her now-dead girlfriend kiss her good morning. She felt Minji hold her in her arms one more time.

As the memory faded, tears ran down Yoohyeon’s face. This couldn’t be real… Minji can't really be gone, can she? But she was.

Yoohyeon sobbed as she wrapped her arms around herself. She would never be able to hear Minji’s voice or see her loving smile except in her memories. Yes, she could relive them, but she would never be able to make more memories with Minji. Is just wasn’t the same.

The hollow ache of loneliness in her chest was growing bigger as reality sunk in. Minji was really gone. She would never be back. Yoohyeon’s sobs became hysterical as grief took over her.

Yoohyeon stayed in bed like that until she had no more tears to cry. Once her tears dried, she finally made herself get out of bed. But what would she do in a house filled with Minji’s memories? Even her toothbrush held memories.

Yoohyeon slowly shuffled into the bathroom and washed her face. But when Yoohyeon went to grab her toothbrush that was hung right beside Minji’s, her finger gently brushed the other toothbrush.

_-Yoohyeon’s memory-_

_Minji was standing in the bathroom in her pink pajamas and her cute bed hair as she brushed her teeth. Yoohyeon just walked in sleepily as their eyes met as Yoohyeon looked into the mirror. Minji smiled around the toothbrush as she giggled._

_Yoohyeon was so sleepy that her eyes were barely open as she shuffled into the bathroom with her white hoodie on._

_“How are you so cute?” Minji asked as she talked around her toothbrush as Yoohyeon blushed. It didn’t matter if they had been together a year or six. Every time Minji complimented Yoohyeon, she couldn’t help but blush._

_They brushed their teeth in a happy silence as they got ready for the day. It was a regular routine, but Yoohyeon didn’t know that she would miss something so simple this much._

Yoohyeon froze as her finger brushed the toothbrush, and soon, she felt her tears coming back. Minji looked so beautiful, no matter if she just woke up or tried to look pretty. But now all of Minji’s stuff around just reminded Yoohyeon that they would never be touched by their owner again.

Yoohyeon choked back a sob as she crouched down and hugged her knees. Her tears were starting to get out of control when she heard a knock at her door. She knew who it had to be and slowly stood. There were only a few that would come and check on her so she could guess who it would be.

Yoohyeon took slow steps towards the door. It felt like she was moving through water. Her limbs felt weighted as her heart ached. She seemed truly lost without Minji. She didn’t know what to do now.

Once Yoohyeon got to the door, she unlocked it, but when she touched the doorknob, the memory that came made her wish she had never touched it.

-Yoohyeon’s Memory-

_Today was Yoohyeon and Minji’s anniversary. They have been together for six years. Yoohyeon woke up in excitement. Every year Minji would always do something sweet and romantic, and it always usually started with breakfast in bed. But when she awoke, there was nothing._

_To Yoohyeon’s surprise, there was no breakfast in bed, no special event… it actually seemed like Minji had actually forgotten their anniversary._

_Minji was going through her routine like it was just a normal day. Yoohyeon thought she had to be planning some big surprise, but as it got closer and closer to the time that Yoohyeon had to leave for work, she quickly realized that Minji had actually forgotten what day today was._

_They went through their morning routine, but all the while, Yoohyeon was waiting for something from Minji for their anniversary, but it never came. Finally, Yoohyeon slowly made it to the door as her heart ached. Could Minji really have forgotten?_

_Minji came to the door to wish Yoohyeon a good day as she watched the younger girl stalling before leaving. It looked like she was waiting for something, but Minji just smiled._

_“Have a good day at work, baby!” Minji said as Yoohyeon stood there in disbelief._

_“do you seriously not know what today is?” Yoohyeon asked as Minji looked at her with a confused stare. It completely shocked Yoohyeon that Minji could forget when she never had any year before._

_“a Tuesday?” Minji asked as she tilted her head slightly as Yoohyeon scoffed._

_“I can't believe you actually forgot what today is. I'm so disappointed in you…” Yoohyeon said as she looked at Minji’s shocked expression before slamming the door shut._

_Little did she know that it would be the last thing she said to Minji before her accident. Yoohyeon would forever regret those words, but it was now too late. She could never take those words back. The shocked expression on Minji’s face would be burned into her memory forever._

Yoohyeon’s hand froze on the handle as the memory played through and still lingered after. She just stood there in shock. She had never imagined that the previous memory on the door would be replaced with something so painful.

Soon her sobs came back with a vengeance as her heart felt like it was ripped out of her chest. Minji’s expression was still in her mind, and she couldn’t rid herself of the haunting image.

Siyeon and Bora were waiting for Yoohyeon to open the door when they finally heard it unlock, but it never opened. There was a pause that seemed to last for several minutes though it was only around a couple of seconds, but when they heard Yoohyeon’s heartbreaking cries, they quickly yanked the door open to reveal Yoohyeon on the floor crying her eyes out.

Both girls dove down and wrapped the girl in a tight hug as they tried to soothe their crying friend. It was still a shock to know that Minji was gone, but no matter how much it hurt them, they knew it was much worse for Yoohyeon.

Yoohyeon’s lungs burned from crying as she sobbed uncontrollably as she clung to her friends, but even with them in her arms, it didn’t stop the ache of loss and loneliness.

Both Bora and Siyeon knew about Yoohyeon’s ability and knew that it had to be torturing her right now. Minji and Yoohyeon had lived in that house for several years, and during that time, everything in the house had slowly built up memories of the two. From the smallest of objects to the largest. Everything held memories of the two that Yoohyeon cherished.

Even something minor probably held a memory of Minji, and how hard must that be for Yoohyeon? From what she had said, it was like she was truly reliving things. It was like she was actually there again, but now all those beautiful memories must be a painful reminder of her loss.

“Yooh… maybe you should come to our house for a couple of days…” Bora said as Siyeon nodded. They were worried about Yoohyeon. She had never had to deal with something like this before, and for it to be Minji of all people, it only made this even more difficult for the girl.

“no…” Yoohyeon said weakly. Her voice sounded weak and broken. It made her friends' hearts ache as they looked at their friend. She wasn’t taking this very well, and they felt completely helpless. They had no idea what to do to help their grieving friend.

“Yoohyeon, please…” Siyeon begged. She knew that Yoohyeon was just torturing herself, but Yoohyeon was stubborn and shook her head.

“Yooh… seriously this isn’t healthy for you. I'm worried for you…” Bora said as Yoohyeon clung to her friends. The memory still hurt.

“What did you see that upset you this much?” Siyeon asked as Yoohyeon cried into her shirt.

“It was the last words I said to Minji…. How could I tell her I was disappointed in her? I saw her shocked expression again. How much did I hurt her?” Yoohyeon said as she clung to her friends.

Bora looked at Siyeon in shock. That they knew of the last memory on the door was when they started dating, and Yoohyeon kissed Minji right after saying that she loved her for the first time. For that memory to be erased, it must have been a powerful memory for both girls.

“then we will stay with you…” Siyeon said. She knew that Yoohyeon would refuse. She always feared that she would lose a memory of Minji, and now that she was gone, it was an even bigger fear.

“no!” Yoohyeon said as Siyeon looked into her eyes with a serious expression.

“then you are coming to our house for a couple days. Choose. Here or at our house?” Siyeon said firmly as Yoohyeon’s shoulders slumped. She knew that they were only trying to help and finally nodded.

“ok… I will go with you…” Yoohyeon said sadly.

“ok, let get your bag packed…” Bora said as she helped Yoohyeon onto her feet and led her inside. They knew that it wouldn’t be a good idea to leave Yoohyeon alone during the funeral. Dami and Gahyeon wanted to go with the two to pick up Yoohyeon, but they worried that she would refuse if there were too many people.

Yoohyeon led them into the kitchen and went to make some coffee but froze. She knew the memory attached to it and just couldn’t handle it right now. The two noticed the pause and walked to her.

“Yoohyeon, don’t worry about coffee. Let's just get your bag packed…” Siyeon said as Yoohyeon nodded numbly and shuffled out of the room. Bora and Siyeon exchanged worried glances at each other as they watched her go. Taking her to their house was the best thing they thought they could do for her.

-A Week Later-

It had been a week since Yoohyeon had been home. The funeral had ended, and her friends never left her side, but now all she wanted was to go home. She had also gotten a call earlier in the day. They had repaired Minji’s car, and it had been dropped off at Yoohyeon’s house on Siyeon’s request.

Siyeon and Bora decided to go with Yoohyeon just in case something happened, and they would be glad they did later.

Bora was behind the wheel and pulled into the driveway beside the pink car that used to belong to Minji. Yoohyeon’s heart ached as she looked at it. The last time she had seen the car, it had been struck by a car that ran a red light and flipped. How could it look so perfect now while Minji was in the ground?

“Yoohyeon, are you sure you will be ok?” Siyeon asked as Yoohyeon nodded. She thought that she would be fine, but the only way to know would be to touch it.

Yoohyeon walked over to the pink car and readied herself for the memory. It used to be the day Yoohyeon bought the car for her as a surprise, but with Minji dying in the car, would it still be the same memory? Yoohyeon wondered, and she was a bit afraid to find out.

Siyeon walked over and handed Yoohyeon the keys. Luckily it didn’t hold a memory because it was used so often. But when Yoohyeon touched the door handle, she froze with a gasp.

-Minji’s Memory-

_“I hope I didn’t upset her too much… I wanted today to be a surprise, but maybe I went too far…” Minji mumbled to herself as she drove towards Yoohyeon’s work. She didn’t want to leave everything like it was. Yoohyeon’s expression of disappointment still hurt her._

_“maybe I should call her instead of just showing up. I don’t want her to be upset and surprised at work…” Minji said to herself as she hit the call button on the steering wheel and used the voice commands to call her girlfriend._

_“Hey, baby… sorry to bother you at work, but I made you some food, and I'm on my way to drop it off.” Minji said. Yoohyeon could feel the hesitation in Minji’s voice and sighed. She had been feeling horrible all morning for what she said and wanted to make it right too._

_“ok, how far away are you? I will meet you there.” Yoohyeon said as she stood and walked out of the office and went to meet her girlfriend outside._

_“Hmm… not far. Maybe a minute?” Minji said with a relieved smile. She wasn’t far, and as she came up to a red light, she stopped._

_It didn’t take long for it to change, but once it did, Minji slowly started moving forward. But what she didn’t see was that a car was about to run a red light. They were not looking because they were distracted by something, and they were heading at Minji at a dangerous speed._

_“I'm almost there. See you in a minute-” Minji was struck abruptly from the side as the vehicle tipped over. Yoohyeon heard the noises of the accident as a chill ran down her spine. Yoohyeon heard the crunching of metal and Minji’s screams of panic until the phone went silent._

_Yoohyeon felt like she had been frozen in place for an eternity, but soon she started screaming Minji’s name into the phone._

_All Yoohyeon could hear was a soft groan from Minji, and panic set in. Yoohyeon bolted down the street heading towards where Minji should be, and soon, she saw a crowd gathered around an accident. No one was going to help. They were too afraid of getting hurt themselves, but Yoohyeon barreled her way through elbowing people that were too slow to move out of her way._

_All Yoohyeon could think of was getting to Minji, and she prayed that she would be ok. But when she broke through the crowd, the pink car was on its roof, and Minji was lying on the roof on the inside._

_Did Minji undo the seatbelt and fall? She always wore her seatbelt, so there was no way she drove without it._

_Yoohyeon charged forward and slid into the window that was broken as she called Minji’s name. She seemed kind of confused and didn’t recognize that it was Yoohyeon that she was looking up at._

_“I… tell her… I'm sorry…” Minji whispered as she grasped weakly at Yoohyeon’s arm, leaving a bloody handprint where she touched her. She had tears in her eyes, and her hair that was a bright blonde was instead red with blood. Yoohyeon could tell that it wasn’t looking good for her girlfriend and choked back a sob._

_“baby… I'm right here… I'm so sorry. I'm not disappointed in you… I never have been. I love you… please hang in there!” Yoohyeon sobbed as she held Minji close, but she could feel Minji’s breathing getting weaker and weaker._

_“Minji? MINJI! PLEASE STAY WITH ME! DON’T LEAVE ME!” Yoohyeon screamed as she felt someone pulling her out of the car. Her friends had spotted her outside the office and knew something was wrong when they spotted Yoohyeon running._

_“Yoohyeon! We have to get Minji out of there! It's not safe!” Dami shouted as she and Gahyeon helped pull the two out._

_But Yoohyeon didn’t even realize they were there. She could feel Minji slipping away in her arms. She pleaded with Minji. Begged her to hold on, and Minji tried, but it ended up being too difficult in the end._

_“I'm… sorry…” Minji whispered with her last breath. Yoohyeon waited for her next breath to come, but it never came. Without knowing it, she had held her breath and soon gasped for air as her lungs burned from the lack of oxygen. But Minji never took another breath. She stared unblinkingly at Yoohyeon’s face._

_“Minji? MINJI!” Yoohyeon screamed as she gently stroked her cold cheek. Minji had always felt so warm. This wasn’t right._

_“please…” Yoohyeon pleaded as she gently rested her head on Minji’s chest. There was nothing. No breathing. No heartbeat._

_Yoohyeon looked up into Minji’s open eyes and started to cry. This couldn’t be real, right? It had to be a dream or some sick joke. There was no possible way that Minji could really be gone right now. It just couldn’t be true. They were just talking on the phone a second ago!_

_“Yoohyeon… I think… I think she's gone…” Gahyeon said as tears streamed down her face. But Yoohyeon shook her head. She couldn’t believe it. It was impossible. Not her Minji. There was no way…_

_Siyeon stood there in shock as she looked at her friends and girlfriend, trying to pry Yoohyeon off of Minji as Yoohyeon screamed Minji’s name. Slowly Siyeon glanced down and froze. There was a tiny black object on the ground by her foot. Slowly Siyeon leaned down and picked it up._

_It looked to be a tiny black wooden box. The top was worn by someone's constant nervous rubbing. Siyeon was pretty sure that she knew what it was, and when she opened the box, she choked back a shocked sob and quickly snapped it closed and shoved it in her pocket. There was no way that Yoohyeon could see this right now. It might actually kill her._

_Unlike how Yoohyeon’s ability usually worked, Instead of the memory following Yoohyeon, it followed Minji. It rarely happened, but It was like Minji was trying to show her something. Even with Yoohyeon seeing Minji’s side, she never saw what Minji wanted her to see. She never saw Siyeon picking up the object._

Yoohyeon dropped to her knees in shock. It was bad enough the first time, but she ended up reliving Minji’s death for a second time. Yoohyeon let out an anguished cry as she clawed at her chest as the pain went through her in waves.

Siyeon and Bora ran over to Yoohyeon in shock as she cried hysterically. They didn’t know what happened, but they could guess. Minji’s death was because of a faulty seatbelt. If it had not failed, she probably would have come out of that accident alive with just minor injuries. Even though the car flipped, it barely had any damage and was repaired rather quickly as well.

It was too much for Yoohyeon to handle. She watched herself holding Minji. She felt how hard Minji tried to hold on for her. She felt the desperate need Minji had to apologize to Yoohyeon and even felt the pain Minji was going through until it was too difficult, and she finally succumbed to her injuries. How could this happen? It just didn’t make sense. It was rare for Yoohyeon to see something that was not from her perspective.

“take it away… please…” Yoohyeon got out through sobs as she clung to Siyeon as tears flowed down her face.

“what do you mean?” Siyeon asked as she held Yoohyeon tightly to her.

“I saw it happen all over again… the, the accident…” Yoohyeon said as Bora and Siyeon exchanged surprised glances.

“do you want me to sell it?” Siyeon asked, but Yoohyeon shook her head.

“no… it was Minji’s. How could I sell it?” Yoohyeon said as she clung to Siyeon.

“ok… ok, we will hold onto it for you… let's just get you inside, ok?” Siyeon said soothingly as she and Bora helped Yoohyeon up. They slowly made their way inside the house with Yoohyeon and helped her into bed. They offered to stay, but she refused it.

Siyeon and Bora hesitated. They weren't sure that leaving Yoohyeon alone was a good idea, but she said that they couldn’t baby her forever. With a nervous feeling, the two left Yoohyeon inside the house alone. It was the first time Yoohyeon was alone in a week.

The loneliness finally settled in once Yoohyeon heard the door close. She curled in on herself as she hid under the covers that still smelled of Minji. She breathed deeply as she smelled Minji’s scent and smiled a sad smile. She missed Minji so much that it actually hurt.

Slowly Yoohyeon fell asleep as she dreamed of Minji. It was a very restless sleep, but that had become normal for her after Minji’s death. The other side of the bed felt empty. Cold. She didn’t know how to explain it, but it made her sleep restless.

Once Yoohyeon woke up, she looked at the clock on her phone. It was late in the night, and she had missed calls from her friends. Slowly she swung her legs out of bed and made calls one by one reassuring everyone that she was alright.

Before Yoohyeon could get up, though, she looked over at Minji’s pillow. She knew that she shouldn’t do this, but she slowly touched the cold pillow again, and just like before, she relived the memory all over again. But unlike last time. Instead of feeling like her heart was being ripped out, she instead found herself smiling.

She had missed these memories. All the little things that Minji would say or do. The little touches that she would give to show that she cares. Yoohyeon had missed Minji greatly.

Slowly Yoohyeon stood and walked to the bathroom. This time It wasn’t an accident when she touched Minji’s toothbrush. She waited for the pain and longing to hit her, but it never came. Though Minji was gone, it felt like she was still here with Yoohyeon’s ability.

Yoohyeon walked into the kitchen and reached for the coffee pot. Her fingers gently brushed over the handle of the coffee pot as a memory played in her head.

-Yoohyeon’s Memory-

_Yoohyeon slowly walked into the kitchen. It was the first night Yoohyeon had stayed the night at Minji’s, and she was nervous to see her. She hoped that Minji didn’t regret bringing her home._

_As Yoohyeon walked into the kitchen, though, Minji greeted her warmly as she set a cup of coffee in front of her with a happy smile._

_Without knowing it, Yoohyeon smiled brightly back. Minji had that ability. Her smile was contagious and could make anyone feel better. It always worked on Yoohyeon too._

_What do you want for breakfast?” Minji asked happily as she opened her refrigerator and took inventory of everything she could make._

_Yoohyeon smiled as she realized that her fears were groundless. Minji was so happy that Yoohyeon was there, and it showed in everything she did. She even hummed happily while cooking breakfast._

_It wasn’t long before Minji had a beautiful breakfast in front of Yoohyeon, but before Yoohyeon could take a bite, Minji walked over and pulled Yoohyeon into her arms._

_“you have no idea how nice it was waking up with you beside me...” Minji said with a happy smile as she kissed Yoohyeon tenderly. There was such love and affection in it that Yoohyeon could feel herself melting into the kiss happily._

_But they finally broke apart as Minji teased that the food would get cold. The two ate in a happy silence, and once the food was gone, Minji gathered the plates and set them in the sink before coming over to Yoohyeon._

_“I love you, Yoohyeon,” Minji said as she gently kissed Yoohyeon one more time._

“I love you too, Minji…” Yoohyeon said softly as she smiled tenderly as the memory slowly faded out of her vision.

Though Minji was gone, it was like pieces of her were everywhere. Every little memory made it feel like Minji was still there with her. Yoohyeon knew that Minji was gone. She really did, but at the same time, it felt like Minji was still there with her.

It had been a week or two since Bora and Siyeon left Yoohyeon alone in her house. She had messaged them daily, swearing that she was fine, but something just felt off to Siyeon. Bora tried to tell her that they were just being paranoid, but finally, she caved and agreed to go visit Yoohyeon.

The car ride over was full of anxiety. They prayed that everything was alright, and when they pulled up, everything looked normal. They didn’t know what they expected, though.

Slowly Siyeon got out of the car and walked up to the door and knocked loudly. They heard Yoohyeon’s footsteps and heard the deadbolt unlock, but the door didn’t open. Instead, they heard Yoohyeon shout that the door was open.

Siyeon looked at Bora with a raised brow and slowly walked into the house. Yoohyeon greeted them warmly, but something just felt off. She just seemed too cheerful. When they walked farther into the house, though, they noticed something.

Yoohyeon would touch an item and pause for a moment here or there. They knew what it looked like when her ability was active and somehow didn’t feel right about what they were seeing.

“Yoohyeon, what did you just do?” Siyeon asked as Yoohyeon’s eyes snapped up. She suddenly looked guilty as she looked away.

“I miss her. When I do, I touch something to remember her…” Yoohyeon said softly as Siyeon and Bora exchanged worried glances. This wasn’t how you are supposed to move on from a loss. This was moving backward.

“Yoohyeon… you know that this isn’t healthy right?” Bora asked as Yoohyeon frowned.

“It stops the loneliness for a bit, and I really do miss her…” Yoohyeon said softly as Bora walked over and hugged her friend.

“I know you miss her, but this isn’t healthy. This isn’t you getting over her. You are only torturing yourself…” Bora said as Yoohyeon sighed.

They spent most of the day trying to talk Yoohyeon into moving. It didn’t go well. She completely refused. How could she leave? This house was Minji’s and held all of their memories together.

The thought of someone being in their house and erasing Minji’s memories as they created their own made Yoohyeon’s heart ache. This house was the only connection to Minji that Yoohyeon had left. There was no way she could leave. It would feel like she was abandoning Minji, and she could never do that.

In the end, Bora and Siyeon gave up the argument with a sigh. It wasn’t long since Yoohyeon lost Minji after all. They hoped that it would get better for Yoohyeon, and soon, she wouldn’t need to hold onto Minji’s memories, but they knew it would be difficult for someone to do.

Yoohyeon was always so sensitive, so they knew it would be even harder for her, but they hoped that she could get over this. She seemed to be going through a period where she was trying to rationalize her behavior. But it wasn’t going to end well if this continues.

Bora and Siyeon wondered if someone else would have a better result, so they sent over Dami. But Dami failed to convince Yoohyeon to leave. In fact, it seemed like Yoohyeon had swayed the quiet girl to her side. Dami told Bora and Siyeon that it was Yoohyeon’s way of coping and that they shouldn’t interfere unless it was truly hurting Yoohyeon.

They were not satisfied with that, and soon Gahyeon was sent over. Yoohyeon explained everything. How could you leave all of your memories behind? All of the happy memories of Yoohyeon and Minji had together? It was one thing if you had normal memories because they fade over time, but that wasn’t the case with Yoohyeon.

The memories were as strong as they ever were. Nothing was left out, and every touch and sound was perfect, like when it first happened.

How could you leave when you could relive your first kiss. The first time you confessed or your first night together? Everything was an important and beautiful memory for Yoohyeon, and all of them were remnants of Minji that were left behind. How could she leave without feeling like she was abandoning her?

Gahyeon, too, was swayed to Yoohyeon’s side, and soon it was Handong’s turn. She had been out of town for the accident but flew back as soon as she heard and barely made it to the funeral. She was told that she was lucky she didn’t see the accident, and when Yoohyeon described it, she could see why they said that.

It sounded heartbreaking, and soon Handong found herself holding Yoohyeon. The younger girl made a confession. She couldn’t leave her house through the front door anymore. That memory hurt too much that now Yoohyeon would leave through her back door.

The shock and hurt on Minji’s face was just too much to see day after day. Handong understood that, but when she explained it to Siyeon and Bora, they were adamant that it was proof that it was doing more damage to their friend than helping.

-Yoohyeon’s morning routine-

Yoohyeon woke up and started her morning routine. She would gently touch Minji’s pillow and listen to Minji’s sleepy voice and smile. Once that memory ended, she would walk into the bathroom and brush her teeth with the memory of Minji. That was then followed by coffee as she relived their first morning together, and it allowed Yoohyeon to hear Minji tell her that she loved her one more time.

The next part of her day was getting dressed. She would run her fingers over Minji’s clothes with a frown. They were slowly losing her scent. This scent was Minji. No matter where she smelled it, Minji would always pop to her mind, and that scent was slowly fading from the house.

Yoohyeon hesitated before touching a jacket and smiling. It held a memory of Minji that Yoohyeon cherished.

-Yoohyeon’s Memory-

_Yoohyeon smiled as she watched Minji get ready. She was getting ready for a business meeting, and instead of wearing a dress or something pretty, Minji had instead chosen a suit. She wanted to be taken seriously and not thought of as just some pretty girl._

_Yoohyeon looked at the outfit in shock. It fit Minji perfectly, and she never knew a girl could look so good in a suit. As Minji looked at her, she smiled sweetly._

_“do I look alright? I don’t look silly, right? I want to be taken seriously…” Minji said as she whined cutely while Yoohyeon smiled._

_“you look amazing. I'm starting to feel jealous…” Yoohyeon teased as Minji walked over and wrapped her arms around the younger girl._

_“I'm all yours. That will never change. You will never have to feel jealous. I promise.” Minji said confidently as she leaned in and kissed Yoohyeon gently at first before it got serious. Yoohyeon really did like that suit, and it was reflected in the kiss._

_Finally, they broke apart as Minji laughed breathlessly. She looked at Yoohyeon in surprise as the younger girl grinned mischievously._

_“what? You really look good in that suit…” Yoohyeon joked as Minji smiled._

_“well, you better be awake to take it off of me later…” Minji said with a smirk as she left Yoohyeon standing there feeling much warmer than she had a moment ago._

_In the end, Minji’s meeting was successful, and she ended up getting the deal for her store. Yoohyeon celebrated with her that night, and she did indeed take that suit off of Minji._

Yoohyeon smiled as she remembered that night. Minji was so proud of herself and looked absolutely stunning. The suit now hung on a hanger never to be worn again, and slowly the ache of loneliness was creeping back into her chest.

Yoohyeon left the bedroom and walked into the living room. Gently she touched the couch and smiled at the memory. She knew that it could help stop the aching pain, and in the end, she smiled at the couch sadly.

It wasn’t a memory of anything special. Just of the two snuggled together and watching tv until they fell asleep. It happened almost every night while Minji was alive, and she missed it greatly. It just wasn’t the same without Minji’s warm arms around her.

Finally, it was time to leave as she exited through the back door and walked around to her car. It wasn’t as flashy as Minji’s, but it was the same model. They bought it on the same day, and when her friends found out about Minji’s seatbelt failing, they made Yoohyeon promise to get it checked. She promised but never did.

Yoohyeon knew that it was foolish of her, but she thought if it was her fate to die the same way as Minji, so be it. But the chances of it happening were slim. She mainly didn’t want to lose the memories of Minji in her car, and having some stranger crawling all over her car meant the possibility of memories being erased by some stranger.

One of her favorite memories in this car was when the two would sing to the radio together as Yoohyeon drove. They weren't going anywhere specific. They just wanted to go for a drive and enjoy their time together. Their fingers would be entwined as they smiled while enjoyed the music and each other’s beautiful voices.

As Yoohyeon drove to work, she avoided the way that Minji took that day. It still hurt to see that same intersection. She couldn’t forget Minji’s expression that day, so she just avoided it altogether. It added an extra twenty minutes to her commute, but she thought it was worth it if it meant she didn’t have to see that image again.

Her workday was boring as usual, and once she went home, she entered the front door but carefully closed it. She didn’t want to touch the inside doorknob. The door shut, and she quickly locked the deadbolt and walked inside.

Without a second thought, Yoohyeon reached out and touched the shoe rack by the door and smiled at the memory that surfaced.

-Yoohyeon’s Memory-

_Yoohyeon sighed as she entered the door. It had been a long day, and she couldn’t wait to get her shoes off and change out of her work clothes. Slowly she set her shoes on the rack as she heard Minji’s voice._

_“Welcome home, baby!” Minji said as she walked over and hugged Yoohyeon. The younger girl sighed in happiness as she relaxed into her grip. She had been wanting a Minji hug all day._

_A hug from Minji was different than any other hug. She would put everything she had into her hug. All her emotions and happiness could be felt in that hug. It was the reason Yoohyeon always felt safe and protected in her arms._

_Yoohyeon snuggled into her arms and smiled as Minji laughed. Yoohyeon was always very snuggly, and it always made Minji happy. She loved how Yoohyeon fit so perfectly in her arms or against her body. The two stood there for a bit before Minji finally dragged her into the living room and shoved her into one of the chairs._

_Yoohyeon fell into the chair with an ‘oof,’ but before she could say anything, Minji’s hands were on her shoulders as she gently applied just the right amount of pressure to Yoohyeon’s tense shoulders. Yoohyeon let out a soft moan as Minji found a sore spot. The younger girl relaxed Minji’s grip as she massaged all the sore spots away, and soon, Yoohyeon felt herself starting to fall asleep._

_“baby? Let's get you into a hot shower and to bed. You are falling asleep.” Minji said as Yoohyeon hummed happily and followed Minji into the bathroom._

_The shower was warm against her sore muscles, and Minji’s hands gently washing her hair made Yoohyeon melt happily_.

The memory faded as she felt the fingers ghosting through her hair. But they were slowly fading away. Yoohyeon smiled sadly as she walked into the house and looked at the same chair that Minji gave her the neck massage. So many memories were in this house. How could Siyeon seriously think that she could leave?

All of these memories made Yoohyeon feel like Minji was still here. Like she was still in this house that held so many memories for the two of them. Sometimes Yoohyeon expected to just look up one day to see Minji smiling back at her. She knew it would never happen, but sometimes she felt it could be possible.

Slowly Yoohyeon walked into the kitchen and avoided Minji’s favorite pots and pans. She had realized rather quickly that if she touched it, she would always eat in her memories, and once she came back, her appetite was always gone.

Yoohyeon’s food of choice was now whatever was available at the convenience store, and soon she sat in the lonely kitchen as she ate her dinner and slowly got ready for her shower and bed.

The next day Siyeon called Yoohyeon and invited her to lunch. It was a day off for both of them, so Siyeon knew that she would be free.

Yoohyeon sighed but agreed. She knew that Siyeon was just going to try to talk her into leaving, but nothing she could do would convince Yoohyeon to leave Minji. Nothing could convince her to leave the last ties to the one she loved most in the entire world.

-Siyeon’s Realization-

Yoohyeon went to the restaurant and slowly made her way to Siyeon. She was sitting at a table outside of the restaurant. She knew that it was less likely for a memory of some stranger to appear. Yoohyeon shook her head.

She knew that she had been treating Siyeon badly lately. She only wanted what was best for Yoohyeon, and it even showed in where she decided to eat. She suddenly felt bad, but that wouldn’t change her mind. She wouldn’t leave that house.

“hey…” Siyeon said nervously. Yoohyeon could tell that Siyeon was worried about how she would react and started to feel guilty.

“hey…” Yoohyeon said back as she flopped down into her chair.

“no Bora today?” Yoohyeon asked as Siyeon shook her head.

“I realized that it probably seemed like we were ganging up on you, and I just wanted to apologize. I don’t want to lose our friendship… I'm just worried for you…” Siyeon said as Yoohyeon nodded.

“Siyeon, I know that you are worried for me, but you have to believe that I know how much I can handle. And you don’t understand everything. If you had the same ability that I do, you would understand…” Yoohyeon paused. She didn’t know how to explain it, and she could tell that Siyeon was trying to understand, but she didn’t understand what Yoohyeon experienced when she relived her memories.

“Yoohyeon… I'm trying to understand I really am, but it just doesn’t make sense… I can see that some of these memories are hurting you. I just don’t understand why you are putting yourself through this…” Siyeon said as she looked at her drink. She was afraid of looking into Yoohyeon’s eyes just in case she was giving her a look of anger or disgust.

“Siyeon, you don’t understand… ok, I will try to explain it. Imagine that you lose Bora today. The last thing you said to her really is the last. You can't say anything else to her ever again. You cant her smile or hear her laugh ever again. You cant ever hold her in your arms again…” Yoohyeon said with a pause as Siyeon paled. She was listening intently.

“the things you always wanted to say or wanted to do mean nothing anymore because she is gone. But what if you could feel her in your arms again? Feel her lips against yours? Actually be able to hear her say I love you every day even if it hurts a bit. Would you really be able to refuse it?” Yoohyeon asked as Siyeon sat there in silence.

Never be able to see Bora again? She hadn’t really thought about it from Yoohyeon’s perspective. A regular memory fades, and facts get blurred as the years pass, but that never happens with Yoohyeon’s ability.

‘i… I don’t think I could…’ Siyeon realized, but she couldn’t say it.

“I… I don’t know…” Siyeon said as she pinched the skin of her hand nervously. Yoohyeon could see that she was finally starting to understand and continued.

“Siyeon, when you go home, you can tell Bora you love her. You can hold her in your arms and kiss her as much as you want. I can't do that anymore. Minji is gone. I will never hear her voice again. I will never feel her lips on mine or her arms around me…” Yoohyeon said as Siyeon finally looked like she was understanding.

“Siyeon… with these memories, I can see Minji again. I can hear her. I can even feel her touch one last time. I have felt her lips against mine and felt her touches even though I know she's gone. Every memory that is in that house is an important memory that I cherish. The first night I stayed over at Minji’s. The first time we said we love each other. Even the first time Minji fixed me breakfast. I can see it all and relive it all over again. They are all in that house. How can I leave? How can I leave without feeling like I'm abandoning Minji?” Yoohyeon said as Siyeon sat there in silence.

“I'm sorry. I never really thought of it from your perspective… I just thought about it from someone else's perspective instead of yours. I'm sorry… just the thought of losing Bora… I can understand why you can't let go.” Siyeon said as Yoohyeon sighed.

“I know you were only trying to help Siyeon. It just gets frustrating when I feel like you weren't listening to me. I'm not mad at you, though.” Yoohyeon said, but something seemed off to her. Siyeon still looked nervous or like she was hiding something.

“Yooh… I have something that belongs to you… I was worried that it would be too soon to hand it to you, but I just feel wrong holding onto it any longer…” Siyeon said as Yoohyeon looked at her with a confused expression.

“something that belongs to me?” Yoohyeon asked as Siyeon nodded and pulled something small out of her pocket.

Siyeon slid a small black box across the table as Yoohyeon stared at it in confusion. She didn’t know what she was looking at, but slowly she reached her hand towards the object. As her fingers brushed over the worn wooden lid, Yoohyeon gasped.

-Minji’s memory-

_Minji was rubbing the lid of the box with her thumb nervously. She had been carrying it with her for months, but the moment just never seemed right. Slowly she pulled the ring box out of her pocket and opened it._

_A beautiful ring was shining in the light as Minji smiled at it. She had wanted to get the perfect ring, and after a long time, she finally was able to afford to have the ring made, and it was absolutely perfect._

_The ring was everything that Minji had hoped for, and she just prayed that Yoohyeon would like it. She had spent so much time and money on the ring, but it would all be worth it if Yoohyeon said yes._

_Yoohyeon slowly walked into the kitchen. There was an expectant look on her face as Minji felt herself getting more and more nervous as she held the box in her hand nervously._

_But in the end, she was too nervous to do it. She panicked, and the words just wouldn’t come. Minji was mentally kicking herself as she walked to the door to wish Yoohyeon a good day at work, but the words that came out of Yoohyeon’s mouth struck Minji in the heart._

_“I can't believe you actually forgot what today is. I'm so disappointed in you…” Yoohyeon said as Minji looked at Yoohyeon with a shocked expression as she watched Yoohyeon slam the door shut behind her._

_Minji felt like a foolish coward. She wanted to make this day amazing and memorable, but instead, she was only making things worse._

_“I need to fix this. I want to stay with Yoohyeon forever, not hurt her…” Minji said as she quickly walked into the kitchen and started to prepare food._

Yoohyeon’s fingers began to tremble as she carefully picked up the ring box. This was a memory of Minji’s. Of the last thing that Yoohyeon said to her and feeling how hurt she made Minji made Yoohyeon feel horrible. But she really didn’t forget.

“she didn’t forget… she was planning to propose, but she became too nervous that morning…” Yoohyeon said as Siyeon nodded.

“How did you get this?” Yoohyeon asked as Siyeon looked at the tears threatening to fall from Yoohyeon’s eyes.

“I found it on the day of the accident. The ring box was launched out of the car once the windows broke. I remembered Minji showing me the ring once. She was worried that you wouldn’t like it and asked my opinion. I wanted to give it to you then, but I worried that it would be too much at one time. You had just lost her…” Siyeon said as Yoohyeon held the worn wooden box to her chest.

It was like Minji was trying to tell her she never forgot. That she would never forget. Yoohyeon was so important to her that she wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. She just never got the chance to ask.

“do you want me to drive you home?” Siyeon asked as Yoohyeon nodded. She couldn’t talk, or she might just cry in public.

“ok, let's go… we can just order some food. Let's get you home…” Siyeon said as Yoohyeon nodded and slowly stood.

The car ride was silent. Yoohyeon found herself rubbing the lid of the ring box like Minji did in the memory. She couldn’t believe what she was holding. She had started to think that Minji didn’t want to get married. It didn’t matter to Yoohyeon as long as they were together, but she loved the idea of being able to actually call Minji her wife.

Now Yoohyeon knew the truth. Minji had planned to make this the most memorable day of her life. She planned to propose. But instead, she was taken away from Yoohyeon in that accident.

Siyeon would look at Yoohyeon occasionally with worry. She was worried she made the wrong decision but soon noticed a sad smile on Yoohyeon’s face. Siyeon wasn’t sure if she should feel relieved or not, but she hoped that was a good sign.

They pulled into the driveway, and Siyeon gave Yoohyeon a hug before Yoohyeon walked inside. She walked into the bedroom where she would always see Minji standing beside the mirror in the morning and slowly pulled out the ring box from her pocket.

Yoohyeon had not looked at the ring yet, but now it was time. She slowly rubbed the lid once more before slowly opening it to see a beautiful ring. She instantly recognized it because it had everything that Yoohyeon had ever said she wanted in a ring. Minji had listened and surprised her with the ring of her dreams.

Yoohyeon gently touched the ring and froze as another memory appeared.

-Minji’s memory-

_Minji stood in front of the mirror. Her face was pale, and her heart was pounding as she pulled the ring out of her pocket and looked at it._

_“y, Yoohyeon. Today is an important day… but I want it to be even more special… no. that sounds stupid…” Minji said with a stressed whimper._

_“Yoohyeon. I love you and I always will… marry me?” Minji said as she shook her head in frustration._

_“no… that’s too short. I want her to know how much I love her… I don’t want it to sound rushed…” Minji said as she sighed in frustration before looking at herself in the mirror once more._

_“Yoohyeon. I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. You were so beautiful, but you were also so kind. I love everything about you from your smile to the littlest things. I want to spend the rest of my life with you… will you marry me? Will you allow me to call you my wife?” Minji asked as she smiled shyly._

_It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t exactly what Minji wanted to say, but it was close. She finally was gaining the courage to propose after so long._

Yoohyeon gasped in shock as she stared at the ring. In the end, she finally heard Minji’s proposal, and it was absolutely beautiful to Yoohyeon.

Yoohyeon looked into the same mirror that Minji practiced proposing to and smiled. For some reason, she felt like Minji was beside her somehow. Before that feeling went away, Yoohyeon looked confidently into the mirror and smiled.

“yes, Minji. I would love to marry you. I love you so much…” Yoohyeon said, but something caught her eye in the mirror. It was almost like someone was behind her. As Yoohyeon stared harder, the image became clearer.

Minji stood behind her with a sad smile on her face. Yoohyeon had finally been able to see her. Minji had been with her the entire time, but now she could finally see her.

Yoohyeon looked at the image of Minji in the mirror in shock. She knew this wasn’t one of her memories that she was reliving because when Minji touched her shoulder, she felt nothing but a sight coolness on her skin.

“Minji?” Yoohyeon asked as Minji nodded.

“Minji, I'm so sorry. I didn’t mean to say those words. It didn’t mean any of it. I was just upset when I thought you didn’t remember our anniversary…” Yoohyeon said, but Minji just nodded.

‘I know…’ Minji said, but Yoohyeon couldn’t hear anything. Luckily she understood by watching her lips, but she wished so much that she could hear Minji’s voice once more.

“Minji… I love you so much. I'm sorry you didn’t get to propose. I love you, and my answer would always be yes…” Yoohyeon said as she saw tears in Minji’s eyes.

‘I love you…’ Minji said as Yoohyeon smiled. She understood that perfectly.

“I love you too… I miss you…” Yoohyeon said as tears streaked down Minji’s cheeks.

‘I miss you too…’ Minji said as Yoohyeon smiled. She had sworn that she felt Minji before, and she was right. Minji was with her all along.

“don’t ask me to leave. I can't leave you. All of our memories are here. I won't abandon you and our memories…” Yoohyeon said as Minji smiled knowingly.

‘I know…’ Minji said silently. She had been there when they all tried to talk Yoohyeon into leaving, and she knew Yoohyeon wouldn’t leave. Yoohyeon couldn’t leave. Minji was everything to her. All the memories they shared were priceless to Yoohyeon, and no one would ever compare to Minji.

Yoohyeon carefully pulled the ring from the box and set the worn box down before admiring the beautiful ring, but when she looked into the mirror, she saw Minji mouth something.

‘look inside it…’ Minji mouthed, and slowly Yoohyeon turned the ring over and read the inscription as she smiled sweetly. Her tears fell freely as she read the message aloud.

“Yoohyeon. My heart will love only you forever.” Yoohyeon said as she smiled at Minji, who smiled as she cried. She watched as Yoohyeon slipped the ring over her finger. It fit perfectly, and Yoohyeon wasn’t surprised. Minji knew everything about Yoohyeon, including her ring size.

Minji was Yoohyeon’s soulmate after all, and no one would ever be able to come close to Minji. Though she was dead, she wasn’t gone as they had thought. That was enough for Yoohyeon. How could she leave when everything that mattered was here? Could you?


End file.
